Travel & Identity: Beyond Social Conditioning

Have you ever wondered who you are outside your job? The promotion you got last week? Your parents’ expectations and your hustle routine? The social billboard with bold graphics screaming, ‘Do you have it all?’

© 2026 Abhilasha Mukherjee. All rights reserved.

You may have thought about some of these lying awake at 3 am, so you know what I’m saying. If you haven’t, stop. Ask. “What if my story isn’t meant to be as linear as I’ve been made to believe?”

Data shows that identity is tied to social conditioning because the human brain relies on familiar structures and social hierarchies to maintain a stable sense of self. Structure acts like a barcode that binds identity by imposing rules, boundaries, and expected behaviours.

The Broken Bar

Disrupting the existing structure threatens an individual’s cognitive baseline, sense of belonging, and perceived self-worth. And we? We become the bars that keep the barcode functioning.

In the past few years, the wildly unstable job markets have done exactly that, triggering deep identity disruption among young adults. An NCBI study reveals that 53% of job seekers experience loss of self-worth, while 65% cite job insecurity as quite the stressor.

In fact, in 2022, I had my own little identity disruption. You see, I had the perfect job in the foreign market, a cozy little house on the 18th floor, and the words that tie Asian stereotypes together — social conditioning.

But all of that changed during the tech layoffs. I lost my job, my home, and what I thought was the supposed direction of my life. In the months to come, I received rejection letters, a lot of them, and each letter stripped away a tiny fragment of my self-worth, leaving me utterly disoriented.

Into the Himalayas

“Identity becomes boundless when you’re reduced to zero.”

And if humans are good at anything, it’s evolution & adaptability. We’re now witnessing young adults refuse to tie their identity and self-worth to the status quo of their careers, a phenomenon known as career minimalism. A study by Upwork indicates that instead of grinding through traditional corporate ladders, they are prioritizing financial flexibility, side hustles, and solopreneurship.

But psychologically, it’s harder to practice than to preach in a society that demands proof of success. Overriding the urge to seek social validation either requires immense mental resilience or it requires distance. Young adults are now opting for slow, intentional travel to escape the mental and social overload.

Sociologists & psychologists frequently identify major life disruptions as catalysts for long-haul travel that creates space to rebuild identity. If you’ve had the privilege of reading or watching ‘Eat, Pray, Love’, you know exactly what I’m talking about. Even though the immediate psychological outcome of disruption in the personal status quo can be profound, eventually the identity is no longer ‘what you do’ or ‘where you belong’.

Beyond the Familiar

I’d like to take a moment here and give a shout-out to the person who said, ‘When you hit the bottom of the barrel, your only option is to go up.’ — After my disruption, I took that too literally and went travelling up the Himalayas for 6 months.

The novelty of such experiences can be intimidating at first, but that’s the whole point. Discomfort. According to research, when you travel, you push yourself outside of the little box you’ve been living in, exposing yourself to the challenges and joys of the world.

Think of the time you left for college; it’s scary for most — new city, new people, awkward first interactions. But college also offers the chance to start fresh, be who you wish to be — new city, new people, screaming songs at college fests with the same people you once felt awkward talking to. Because people are the same wherever you go, and in my experience, humour and shared suffering are what bring us together.

The Tug of War

Talking of suffering, growth through discomfort isn’t very romantic. And contrary to the popular travel Instagram templates, travel isn’t all ‘sunny cafe mornings’ and ‘bonfire evenings singing Born to be Wild'. If done intentionally, it can be a tug-of-war between familiarity & exposure (known as the ‘liminal phase’). Because self-discovery through travel involves leaning into challenges, and the brain naturally resists that unpredictable space between who you are & who you wish to be.

You see, so many of us grow up learning that success is a measurable metric that follows a strict formula. I know that I did. Why? Well, I don’t wish to get into the details of that, but for the sake of your understanding, maybe just Google some 'Asian upbringing templates'. 9.0 GPAs, 9-to-5 at MNCs, a home on the 18th floor, and marriage by 28.

But as you step out into the world and learn more perspectives, you wonder, 'What if these quintessential milestones are not the gospel truth?' I met people who were working their 9-to-5 or freelancing remotely from the Himalayas. I came across someone who was in a tougher financial spot, but they laughed anyway. One person even left their job at the ‘Big Four’ to start their own little cafe serving dosas, a place I visited every morning.

But success wasn’t the only thing travel forced me to reevaluate.

Another thing that caught my attention was how underrated empathy is. Research by the University of Michigan suggests that the rise of digital communication & the highly competitive individualistic culture (a phenomenon known as ‘Generation Me’) has led to a growing ‘empathy gap’.

Psychological research also confirms that emotional sensitivity and empathy are often socially stigmatised as signs of weakness, particularly in cultures that value emotional restraint and toughness. Together, these factors encourage us to prioritize our own wants, needs, struggles, and happiness, leaving little to no room to care for others.

However, as a solo traveller, you’re often forced to rely on the hospitality of others. Maybe that’s why small acts of kindness begin to feel so meaningful when you’re far away from home.

And if you’re lucky, and you meet people who understand what it truly means to be there for others, you won’t have to spend your birthday all alone in a foreign town. Maybe someone would bring you a cupcake and climb that cold Himalayan cliff with you just so you can blow out the candles when the clock hits 12. Maybe then you’ll wonder — when was the last time you did something so simple yet profound for another person?

But the human mind loves to play tricks, doesn’t it? No matter how much you expand your roots, step outside your comfort zone, or see what’s actually out there, the mind often gravitates back towards familiar social conditioning, expectations, and routines.

You know when someone asks, “How are you?” and you instinctively say, “I’m good, thanks”, despite spilling coffee on your shirt and missing your bus to work right after? Yes, that’s social conditioning at work.

But the strange thing was, my then-current environment wasn’t fully rewarding that ingrained social conditioning; I mean, I actually met someone who restarted their career at almost 40. Another person who listened to me ramble on and on about my lost home, just there for me, listening patiently at 2 am.

So, after a long, mentally exhausting tug-of-war, I adjusted my focus and gave freedom and kindness a shot. FYI, I have a power of - 4, so it takes me some time to see things.

The Becoming

Until now, I’ve been discussing how travelling was a powerful catalyst in my journey of identity exploration, identity conflict, and identity shedding after a life disruption. It helped me come a long way, but as I actively reconstructed my identity in the very space created by my loss, I realized that none of that would have been possible without awareness & intention.

In simpler terms, travel is not a magical pilgrimage that will enlighten your mind, body, and soul as you sit under a tree. It requires reflection & curiosity, rather than avoidance. It required action, rather than stagnant awareness. It requires being stripped of the ego-driven narratives created by society to measure value.

And you may still not find all the answers you’re looking for, and maybe that’s okay. Because what if your story isn’t meant to be as linear as you’re made to believe?

So tell me, when was the last time you asked yourself, ‘Am I living the life I want or the life I was conditioned to want?’

© 2026 Abhilasha Mukherjee, Brand Marketing Specialist.